[a one sided telephone call, by a male jew, using his new York complaining voice, kind of like a young Robert De-Niro on a shouting spree]
"a.. hello. yes. yes... may I please speak to ____."
"Aaaa, yeah! yeah. well what the hell are you waiting for? I don't have all day. oh, for crying out loud. the devil's gotten into you. can't you see it's an emergency?"
"See, hear. what the hell is the difference?"
"What am calling about? what am I calling about? I'll tell you what i'm calling about! I just had my shlong mascarred by my lovely parents!"
"They keep on telling me about how much fun we're gonna have together. How kind they'll be and what excellent things we're gonna do together! Well, I'm gonna tell you that all that sweet talk was a L-I-E."
"Of course I know she suffered, but this is was of repaying her suffering. slicing a man's cock, I tell you."
"What? What are you saying? So what if all this was thirty years ago, I haven't forgotten I tell you. That's what is so terrible. I went to the ceremony of my dear nephew. He was up there smiling at me from his pillow and then it hit me all of the sudden. Now, wait a minute? Wasn't this little baby me a while back? Didn't they stuff cheap wine down me throat so I'd be singing a hallaluya! and sweet mother of god! and then all of the sudden slock! and a massive pain spreading between my legs.
"I'm reliving the trauma of it all. I sit on the toilet and brood my long lost skin. who is to tell me that I wouldn't have had better orgasms if not for being born a jew?"
"why am I speaking in English? Why not? Have you rather I sat in shvitz? Putiar! Or curse in the holy tongue? No, no! It would just switch to Arabic fussing and cussing. There are no real complaints in that tongue. English just sounds so much better... Jewish in fact."
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